The books that shaped me
Me between around 9 years old, down the shore during a family vacation (about a week before Hurricane Sandy hit might I add)
Tiny Very Tiny (about 7 years old and younger)
Go, Dog. Go! by P.D Eastman
You know what’s funny is that around this age, I was deathly afraid of dogs. Any kind of dog, big or small. But for some reason, these dogs didn’t frighten me so much. It’s a very simple book. Dogs just doing silly things and whatnot. This is one of the first books that I can remember just sitting with for hours. My favorite illustration was the dog party in the tree. Iykyk.
The Junie B. Jones series by Barbara Park
I was Junie. Junie was me. This weird little girl got me through first grade and made oddball, messy, slightly emotionally unregulated girls such as myself feel seen. My favorite in the series was Junie B., First Grader (at last!) which was very relevant to my circumstances at the time.
Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale by Mo Willems
The visuals of this book are ever so slightly unsettling. These illustrated characters existing in photographs of a real city capture what it’s like to be a child. During childhood, there is this sense of unreality, almost as if you’re this invincible, fantastical creature taking on the world. I know when I think back on my own childhood, physical places are quite crisp whereas I don’t have a very vivid image of myself. This is what makes Knuffle Bunny a timeless classic for me. Don’t even get me started on the sequel Knuffle Bunny Too: A Case of Mistaken Identity.
A Kid With Consciousness (about 8-11 years old)
Dork Diaries by Rachel Renée Russel
When I think of my childhood as a whole, I think of this series. I was a self-titled “dork” for quite some time, which was ideal in a time of “adorkable” being coined to describe the quirky, awkward women I looked up to. I saw myself in our main character (the dork in question) Nikki Maxwell the same way I saw myself in Junie B. Jones as a tiny little child. A lot of my childhood was spent searching for a kindred spirit, and though Nikki was materialistic, boy-crazy, and somewhat misguided, she was everything to me. My favorite book in the series was Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Talented Pop Star.
Goddess Girls by Joan Holub and Suzanne Williams
Now, I don’t know anyone who read these books as a kid, which is a real shame because they were so much fun. I think Percy Jackson was the children’s Greek myth adaptation of choice for most young people. This series awakened my love for Greek mythology which has followed me into adulthood. Aphrodite was my favorite goddess simply because I loved staring at her cover illustrations the most. Naturally, my favorite book in the series was Goddess Girls: Aphrodite the Diva.
I Have Braces, I’m Breaking Out, and I’m constantly Sweaty (about 12-14 years old)
The Hunger Games* Trilogy by Suzanne Collins
Arguably the most influential books of my entire life. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark felt like my cool, older siblings. This trilogy fundamentally changed the coding of my DNA, no joke. I say this in all seriousness, when I die, instead of seeing my life flash by, I’m going to see scenes from The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. And I will be at peace. #everlark4ever
*TW: Violence, death, war, substance abuse
The Catcher in the Rye* by J.D Salinger
Is this a red flag? Maybe. But I will defend Holden Caulfield with my life. I read this book for the first time at thirteen, completely unprompted. It wasn’t required reading for school or anything. An old copy lived in my basement and had been calling my name for years. Thirteen-year-old me was shaken to the core with this one. I then spent the entirety of my 8th grade creative writing class copying J.D Salinger’s writing style in all of my short fiction pieces. An example of my emulating Salinger as an 8th grader can be found in my short story, Au Revoir Amour: “Why Shirley, I haven’t seen you in ages! This might be a crummy thing to say, but I’ve missed you, dammit!”
*TW: Grief, CSA
Anne of Green Gables by L.M Montgomery
I was a bit late to the party with this one, but better late than never! I sort of wish I had read this in my late elementary school years rather than middle school, but at least I got there. Anne is unlike any character I’ve ever experienced. The only way I can describe her is if a manic pixie dream girl was actually a fleshed-out main character. This book is the reason I was able to keep a sense of whimsy into my teen years, and for that, I am grateful.
We Are Young, We Are Free, and We Are Edgy (about 15-18 years old)
A List of Cages* by Robin Roe
Now this one is wildly underrated. I think Robin Roe as an author is underrated although she writes such intense and, in my opinion, top-notch Young Adult Contemporary Fiction. Her two novels are vulnerable and riveting and deal with trauma and healing in such a beautiful way. Her most recent book, Dark Room Etiquette made it to my personal top books of 2023 list. A List of Cages is a book I come back to all the time. Julian and Adam are old friends to me at this point, and their brotherly dynamic is everything. This one heals my inner child frfr.
*TW: Child abuse, death of parents, bullying
The Goldfinch* by Donna Tartt
I picked up Donna Tartt knowing absolutely nothing about her. I didn’t know her reputation, I didn’t know anything about “dark academia”, and I didn’t even know her arguably most impactful novel, The Secret History. The Goldfinch made its way to me one random Summer’s day through The Lahaska Bookshop in Peddler’s Village. She had a pretty cover, over 800 pages, and a movie adaptation on the horizon. It took me months to read, but my copy became a third arm by the point I was done with it in October of my junior year of high school. And it introduced me to Donna Tartt who has influenced and inspired me since. Fingers crossed for the announcement of a new novel from Tartt in the coming years, we’re due for one!
*TW: Death of a parent, substance abuse, terrorist attack
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
Similarly to Anne of Green Gables, I was late to this one. After having repeatedly watched Pride and Prejudice (2005 of course), I wanted to read an old English romance novel that wasn’t exactly Jane Austen, and let me say, I was a bit startled. I had no experience with the Brontës and was unaware of the fact that they were known for dark, gothic stories. I was genuinely nauseated for the first few chapters of Jane Eyre having gone in expecting a Jane Austen-esque love story. Nevertheless, I became addicted to this dark story and to Jane Eyre as a character. Don’t tell anyone this, but Jane jump-started my queer acceptance journey. I re-watched the 2011 adaptation and realized that Jane was not only my favorite character of all time but someone I saw myself in in unexpected ways.
Teenage 22-Year Old (about 19-22 years old)
A Little Life* by Hanya Yanagihara
I think everything (both good and bad) has been said about this book. I left this book in absolute shambles debating whether or not to give it a 1-star or 5-star rating on Goodreads. This might be a little dramatic to say, but this book marked my transfer from pure teenage-hood to young adulthood. This is embarrassing to admit, but I used to think 40 was very old. Until I read this book and realized trauma, friendship, and love transcend age; imagine that. This is a theme with my love for many of the books on this list, but the characters are what sold me on this one. I love a pure character study of complex, sometimes unhinged, characters. And every member of this ensemble cast is complex and unhinged in their own special way.
*TW: CSA, child abuse, emotional abuse, domestic abuse, ableism, self-harm, substance abuse
The Neapolitan Novels* by Elena Ferrante
Elena Ferrante my beloved. Who is Elena Ferrante? No one knows. Would I read her grocery list? I would, in fact. The Neapolitan Novels are her magnum opus, just four books of riveting character studies of our two protagonists, Elena and Lila. Elena and Lila are a couple of the most complex, vivid, enrapturing characters I have had the pleasure of following. The HBO series is also pure perfection.
*TW: Child abuse, SA, domestic violence
The Poppy War* Trilogy by R.F Kuang
I read this trilogy on a whim during my freshman year winter break and had the absolute time of my life. I read these books in a little less than a month, reading like my life depended on it. When I moved back into my dorm after my winter break was over, I still had about a quarter left of the third book to get through, so, as one does, I postponed seeing my friends to complete the trilogy. Rin, Nezha, and Kitay are some of the fiercest characters in modern fantasy. As someone who does not partake in fantasy often, the characters are what made me come back for more. Rin’s story is dark and twisted, as is she.
*TW: War, violence, death, SA, substance abuse
