snow globe
You can find Sara on Instagram and Substack @sarajanemascelli
Night (no. 2) by William Orpen (1907)
Last night I was in the pulse
In the pocket of the pulse of
Electricity, or- making love through guitars
Body rocking in sync with him
We are a wave, and when I whisper things in my (our) language
He always knows exactly what I mean
Emotionally attached to each other and
Our brand new son-and-daughter duo
(Socks repurposed by a niche indie-rockstar)
Stuffed with love and blessed with eyes and eyelashes
Born in Tennessee and gone on tour, coming home
Traveling through Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York
Now, a piece of our ragtag little family
After wandering the world, wearily
Looking for their soft place to land
Just like you before me,
Just like me before you.
Last night I kissed you in the snow
Running to the subway, late and giggling
I stopped you to try and take a mental photograph
Memorialize the moment with my eyes and lips
But you just smiled, then took my hand and ran.
Ended up inexplicably floating in midair
On the high-line, missing our train but not giving a shit
Because we are together, laughing loudly on the empty L
Taking us in the opposite direction of what we intended
Not the wrong way, necessarily, just different
A detour to Brooklyn as we point out every magical
Symbol and coincidence that tie us together
All at once, it’s clear to me that
You will always be easy to love
Because even when things are hard, or go awry
I’m held like a baby animal, cradled by the moon, and
When I feel like sand, slipping through the hands of the world
You cup your own and press fingers together, so tight
Never letting a single grain slip through the cracks.
Never letting me touch the ground, the same way I hold you.
Home at 2:39 am and still giddy, stuck in unreality from
The dream world we built in Queens and brought home with us
Shocked we didn’t see a two-legged saxophone on the way
Chasing each other and racing down 10th street
Late night sustenance and keys in hand, heaving sighs
Of relief to see the block we’ve well-worn and walked
What feels like millions of times, but has been so brief
In retrospect.
This may sound wild (because I am a wild thing)
So bear with me. But.
I hope, in this moment,
To run home with you forever.
But it’s okay if not, okay if you can’t, because
I will always have last night to carry with me
Perfectly preserved echo of a recollection
Snowglobe in my mind, tucked into the shoebox of my life
I’ll look back, no matter what, to see
Pretty little dreamlike you, my sweet boy, standing
Against the sky, shining like the lunar bulb above us
Sprinting through snow, glowing radiance, and fullness
I didn’t know it would ever be that simple.
As simple as “I-love-you” and “The-way-you ”
Plainly stated, without secrets- you are
“I-need-this” and “I’ve-got-you”, so the
Ghosts and skeletons in our closets are damned to hell, at last
Because we accept each other for every crackling, splintering piece
Of who we are and were, and will become someday. The good and bad.
Something shifted in the music last night
In the moments and the melting of our faces
You watched me against the wall, in awe
The same way I kept looking back at you
Taking hits of your smile to get high off your joy
I keep it on repeat, my snowglobe of a memory
My best and brightest day with you yet
Because
You make me want to be better.
You make me want to learn forever.
- SJM, or sara jane mascelli
